DRAFT SCRIPT V2
INT CONCERT HALL
A variety of orchestral instruments are arranged on the stage in a semi circle facing the auditorium. The seats are empty. There is a conductors step at the front of the stage.
Orchestra conductor Clarence is on the stage polishing a Flute. He points to it with his baton and “notes” rise up.
Maintenance man Sidney clumps noisily on to the stage, whistling. The notes become shriveled.
Clarence looks disturbed, shakes his head, and puts the notes back in the flute.
Clarence moves along to the Clarinet. He points at it with the Baton. As the notes rise, Sidney drags the step along, stands on the conductors step and slowly unscrews a very squeaky Lightbulb causing the notes to shrivel again. He pushes it into his front pocket.
Clarence shakes his head, muttering.
Clarence moves to the Violin, and points the baton. Sidney starts adjusting the step with a hacksaw.
As Clarence moves to the Cello, Sidney takes a bigger saw from his pocket.
Clarence starts to angrily pluck Double Bass. Sidney starts up a circular saw. Just as Clarence is becoming enraged Sidney cuts through the cord by mistake.
Clarence is visibly relieved and wipes his brow.
Clarence tries out Small Drum. Sidney starts hammering at the step.
Clarence tries a large drum. Sidney turns on a small drill.
Clarence bashes away at Cymbal. Sidney goes off but reappears with a Power Drill. Clarence pulls the plug out.
There is silence.
Clarence tentatively tries out the Bassoon. Sidney looks annoyed and fiddles with notepad and tape measure.
Clarence moves to the Trombone. Sidney mirrors the pipe’s extension by pulling Squeaky Tape Measure in and out.
Clarence blares into the Trumpet. Sidney pops the Lightbulb into the cone.
Clarence picks up the Tuba and stuffs it over Sidney.
Finish with all instruments playing except the Tuba, which Clarence is using as a step. Clarence is juggling the notes as they rise.